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Tuesday edition - November 4, 2008
I just want a president who doesn't sing "Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran."
"Actually,
there is a good chance that we could go to bed tomorrow night and not know who's
running the country. Just like it's been for the last eight years." -- Jay
Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Barely Used Dictator's Yacht For Sale
The Iraqi government plans
to sell a luxury yacht, moored off the French resort of Nice, that was one of
many opulent treasures
belonging to former dictator Saddam Hussein, a senior official said on
Sunday.
"Who are
the real winners in this election? Don't ask me. Ask Joe the Plumber's agent."
-- Stephen Colbert
Disturbing News
Two Million More Victims Of War
The wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan have been hard not only on U.S. troops sent to fight them but on the
young children they have left behind, U.S. researchers said on Monday.
"I think this says it all about the difference between the two parties. McCain is campaigning with Joe the plumber, Obama is down in Florida campaigning with Al Gore. One guy won the Nobel Prize in climate science. The other guy can get a fork out of a garbage disposal." --Bill Maher
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Republican-Shenanigans News
"This weekend at a John McCain rally, Arnold Schwarzenegger said that Barack Obama needs to exercise more because his legs are too skinny. Then he said: `Now behold, the awesome physical specimen that is John McCain!'" --Conan O'Brien
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
The polls and pundits may be
giving Sarah Palin a bad rap, but the Republican vice presidential candidate
from Alaska
has one staunch defender.
Rock-The-Voter News
"As you
know, a lot of voters in Florida have already cast their ballots using early
voting. And here's the weird part. George Bush was declared the winner again."
--Jay Leno
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Biz-Tech News
AIG Update
A financial
manipulation scheme cost American International Group Inc investors at least
$544 million, a judge has estimated, a finding that could mean the five former
executives convicted in the fraud will face lengthy prison terms when sentenced.
"Ted Stevens has been convicted of fraud. Ted Stevens is a legendary figure up in Alaska. The airport in Anchorage, Alaska, is named Ted Stevens International Airport. They'll have to rename it "Prisoner No. 4983 Airport." -Craig Ferguson
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Daylight savings time, change your clocks back. ... If there's one thing we need, it's another hour of 2008. President Bush has already turned the clocks back to 1929." --David Letterman
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"For every
American who is trying to do the right thing, for all those people in government
who are honoring the pledge to uphold the law and honor the Constitution, no
longer will you hear the eight most-dreaded words in the English language, 'The
vice president's office is on the phone.'" - Joe Biden
Tick...Tick...Tick...Beer...Beer...Beer... - Grant Gerver
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Donations as of November 3, 2008
Please help support All Hat No Cattle . Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
Cuban-American artist Jorge Rodriguez Gerada and an army of helpers have etched
a truly giant image of Barack Obama's face into the sand at a beach in
Barcelona, Spain, battling the rain to finish the colossus just ahead of
election day. The enormous face is 140 yards long by 80 yards wide. Rodriguez
Gerada hopes to be seen from outer space and photographed on Google Earth. The
face was created using 500 metric tons of sand, gravel and white, brown and
black pebbles, at a cost of more than euro10,000 (US$13,000).
Peace.
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