Monday edition - November 26, 2007

Sen. Trent Lott resigning? Wow, he must have been caught having an affair. And since he's a Republican, it's a toss up whether the affair is with a man or a woman. Or both. Or a Congressional page. Or in a public restroom. Or...

Barry Bonds is indicted while the President, "Gunner" and "Turd Blossom" roam free.- Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

www.buckfush.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 3,875 AP

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Gunmen slaughter 11 relatives of Iraqi journalist AFP

• At least 10 killed in Qaeda clash in Baghdad: police Reuters

• Baghdad car bomb kills nine, wounds 30: official Reuters

• U.S. military says Mosul bomb attacks killed 21 Reuters

• 13 killed as Baghdad pet market bombed AFP

• Iranian-linked militants bombed Baghdad market: US military AFP

• Refugees streaming back to Iraq: generals AFP

• U.S. blames Shiites in new Iraq violence AP

• Iraqi Shiite Leader Defends Iran The Associated Press

• Poland To Extend Stay Of Polish Troops In Iraq Eastern European Review, MA 

• Islamic radicals planned attack on US Fort Huachuca: report AFP

• Bush lends clout to Mideast peace talks AP

• B-2 stealth bombers hit US targets AP

• 5,000 US troops to withdraw from Iraq AFP

• Ex-Iraq commander says bring troops home AP

The White House Holiday Greeting: "Happy Thankstaking"

- Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

Disturbing News

• Firefighters beat back Malibu fire as winds weaken AFP

• Army Corps flip-flops on N.O. flood risk AP

• Court Rejects Ala. Inmate's Case The Associated Press

President Bush denied Tuesday that he knew anything about a cover-up of the leak of Valerie Plame's CIA identity. He's in a fix. For years people said President Bush didn't know anything, and now when he says he didn't know anything, nobody believes him.  - Argus Hamilton, comedian

www.leftwingconspiracy.com

Republican Shenanigans

• GOP rivals swap barbs on values, crime Los Angeles Times 

• Romney, Giuliani spar on spending AP

• Huckabee stumps with ex-wrestler Flair AP

• Short of Money, GOP Is Enlisting Rich Candidates New York Times

• GOP Candidate Thompson Courts Gun Show Attendees WISC
   

We Must Invade Brazil

In a recent radio broadcast, Brazil's President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva said he's convinced a "higher power" has taken a shining to Brazil. That, he said, might explain the providence of state-run oil company Petrobras (PBR), whose colossal new oil discovery could transform Brazil from a barely self-sufficient producer into a major crude exporter...Initially, Tupi will produce about 100,000 barrels a day but may ramp up to as much as 1 million before 2020—more than the biggest U.S. field in Alaska's Prudhoe Bay, says Hugo Repsold, Petrobras' exploration and production strategy manager. "It's monstrous," says Matthew Shaw, a Latin America energy analyst at consultant Wood Mackenzie in London.
 

Rock-The-Voter News

• Clinton And Obama Switch Roles In Iowa CBS News, NY

• Obama discusses racial inequities Chicago Tribune

• Richardson stands out as pro-gun Democrat Concord Monitor, NH

• Edwards Offers Heating Plan New York Times

• Kucinich suggests a Republican running mate The Plain Dealer

PR Genius, He's Not

Former Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.) suggested on Sunday that Fox News is biased against his campaign, charging that the network highlights commentators who have been critical of his run for the presidency.

In an interview on "Fox News Sunday," host Chris Wallace pressed Thompson on how some conservatives have lambasted Thompson's campaign and showed clips of Fox conservative commentators Charles Krauthammer and Fred Barnes criticizing the former senator.

Thompson said, "This has been a constant mantra of Fox, to tell you the truth."

www.internetweekly.org

Dick Cheney hosted Thanksgiving dinner in Maryland Thursday for his family and a few key staffers. They followed a time-honored ritual. Before they begin to eat, they join hands, close their eyes, bow their heads and get their stories straight.  - Argus Hamilton, comedian
 

Biz-Tech News

• Oil prices make fresh assault on 100 dollars AFP

• Texas' top firms stay loyal to GOP Houston Chronicle

• Iraq Kurds defy Baghdad on oil deals AFP

• Chinese car plant to be built in Mexico AP

• French President Visits China, Signs Multi-Billion Dollar Deals Voice of America

• Air France KLM profit tops forecasts, shares soar Reuters

• Euro trades close to 1.50 dollars AFP

• FDA panel to review Tamiflu's effect on brain USA Today

• Striking Hollywood writers turn to Web AP

Alberto Gonzales lands plush job as chief Musharraf counsel. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

The Secret Keepers

In federal courts and on Capitol Hill, challenges are brewing to a key legal strategy President Bush is using to protect a secret surveillance program that monitors phone calls and e-mails inside the United States.

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Flight logs reveal secret rendition Times Online, UK 

• Prosecutor dismisses Rumsfeld torture complaint, human rights ... International Herald Tribune

Russian President Vladimir Putin said Tuesday if his party wins big in the next election, it will give him the moral right to stay in power. He's muzzled the media and taken over the oil industry and runs a security state. Vladimir Putin is a lot like Dick Cheney, except he was taught to shoot by the KGB, so if he hits a lawyer it wasn't by accident. - Argus Hamilton

Go-F***-Yourself News

• ex-press aide says bush, cheney behind plame leak USA Today 

Alabama coach Nick Saban compared his team's loss to Louisiana Monroe Saturday to Pearl Harbor and the Twin Towers attack. Crimson Tide fans are mortified. They don't feel that anyone should minimize a catastrophe like the loss of a football game. - Argus Hamilton, comedian

Thank you for all your wonderful emails while I was away. I hope your holiday was as pleasant as mine.

And, best of all, my dog is recovering quite well.

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