The Great Debate: Round Two - All Hat No Cattle

Fighting political "untruthiness" before it was a word!

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October 8-9-10, 2004 TGIF/Weekend Edition

Bush’s grudge match: Prez got mad, plans to get even
Boston Herald, 10-8-04
By David R. Guarino. ST. LOUIS -- A recharged President Bush hopes to turn the tables on his opponent tonight and knock Sen. ...

No weapons, no matter, Bush says
Seattle Times, 10-8-04
The Bush administration yesterday launched a campaign to blunt the effect of a report that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction by arguing that the findings still justify the decision to invade Iraq....

Report fuels Iraq WMD debate
CNN International,-10-7-04
WASHINGTON -- A long-awaited report which concluded Saddam Hussein did not possess stockpiles of illicit weapons...

I will eat Bush's hat if he wins this debate.

"I don't want to say who won that first debate, but today the FCC is furious
and is fining the networks for showing the emperor with no clothes."
-- Bill Maher

Dave Casey

The Large Editor -- AllHatNoCattle.net

FEMA money buys beer and votes

I’ve decided to vote for President Bush -– and not because of his outstanding performance in the first debate.

Most Americans love to see handicapped people overcome their disabilities, so it was inspiring to watch Dubya grapple simultaneously with facial incontinence and suppressed brain function.

But that’s not why I’ve decided on Dubya.

Like many Floridians, I now live in a Third World region dependent on MREs from the National Guard and checks from FEMA. Many of us have joined the ranks of low-wage or no-wage conservatives, those one- and two-issue voters with slogans such as “Having a gun is better than a job.”

So any kind of government handout is vital in securing our votes. Why, it was Dubya who got those hefty $600 per household income tax refunds for a us a couple years ago, and it’s Dubya who just told FEMA to pick up a larger share of hurricane recovery costs than the agency has in the past.

That’s great news for Florida and Dubya’s little brother, the governor.

All Hat No Cattle executives (both of them) right now are mulling over how to spend the $400 and change that is anticipated from FEMA.

The publisher wants to buy more tar paper for the roof or food to restock the refrigerator, but I’m lobbying for extra ammo in case of looters. And beer; lots and lots of beer.

I still plan to watch the Friday night debate between Bush and John Kerry, even though my mind’s made up for Dubya (if the FEMA check arrives).

I want to see if the president has regained control of his facial expressions and verbal skills. And I want to see if his handlers have been able to load the audience for the town hall-style forum with Republicans.

Dubya does well with a friendly crowd, even when he doesn’t do well with English.

I’ll also watch the third and last debate, which will be devoted to domestic issues like the faltering economy. This is where many political pundits predict Bush will have his toughest time with Kerry.

The Democratic challenger is certain to bring up pesky subjects like the record budget deficit created under Bush, the loss of hundreds of thousands of jobs, the continuing lack of a national health care program, and tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy.

And I’ll provide fair, unbalanced commentary on the second and third debates -- even though I’ve decided to vote for Bush because he’s the better candidate. And because the money from FEMA should have arrived by then.

In Florida, the 2000 election was the laughingstock of the nation. This year, it might be the best election money could buy.

Type your comments below

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Rebel cleric in Baghdad offers peace deal Guardian
U.S. frees aide to rebel cleric during talks Seattle Times, WA
Rockets strike downtown Baghdad hotel, 10 die AZ Central.com, AZ
U.S. Strike Kills 11, Wounds 17 in Iraq's Falluja Reuters
Arab TV Reports British Hostage Killed In Iraq Radio Free Europe, Czech Republic
Egypt bomb blasts kill 22 Reuters
Indonesia's president-elect condemns bombing outside Paris embassy Channel News Asia
Iraq WMD Report gets heated reception Xinhua
Iraq to Proceed With Elections Undeterred AP
Many Iraqis quit jobs after getting threats Miami Herald (subscription)
Disc Found in Iraq Has U.S. Schools Info AP
Iraqis Want U.S. Out of Green Zone AP
Zinni Says U.S. to Be in Iraq for Years AP
Australian Prime Minister apologizes for false Iraq data AFP
Howard Disappointed by Iraq Intelligence AP
Pentagon meddling crippled post-war humanitarian aid for Iraq: US experts AFP
U.S. base attacked as Afghans prepare to vote Reuters
U.N.: Israel Holds Workers Without Charges AP
Israeli Official Blames al-Qaida in Blasts AP
White House Unclear on Israel Statements AP
Palestinian Teens Killed in Israeli Strike AP
This section keeps getting longer and longer

Two Faces of Bush -- Excellent Flash Animation

"(Friday) is the second presidential debate, or as Republicans are calling it, 'Fear Factor'." –- Jay Leno

Disturbing News

Judge may have met with CIA officer Detroit Free Press
FBI Agents Questioning Muslims In Mosques IndoLink
Judge Admonishes Lawyers in Anthrax Case AP
Crater's "Loaf" rises 100 feet on St. Helens Seattle Times
Helens' siblings might be nastier USATODAY.com
Five binge-drinking deaths 'just the tip of the iceberg' USATODAY.com
Melissa Etheridge Has Cancer, Cancels Tour AP

Martha starts doing her time
Ireland Online, Ireland

Cheney Once Pushed to Lift Iran Sanctions
ABC News, 10-8-04
Vice President Dick Cheney, who has called Iran "the world's leading exporter of terror," pushed to lift U.S. trade sanctions against Tehran while CEO of Halliburton...

Is Bush Wired?

Republican Shenanigans

Newseum - The Interactive Museum of News

"Bush and Kerry's first debate was held last Thursday. While neither candidate
delivered a knock-out punch, polls indicate John Kerry was the winner.
Though Bush later complained it was because he couldn't get his buzzer to work."
-- Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live

Claim versus Fact - Check out quotes by conservatives

www.oldamericancentury.org

Trivial Trivia

Good News

Kenyan environmentalist wins peace prize Seattle Post Intelligencer, WA
Bush's job on the line ahead of second presidential debate AFP
Group Sues Over GOP Convention Arrests AP
Outside Observers to Monitor U.S. Elections AP

Florida Relocates

"Good To Be in DC!" -- Bi-Partisan Flash animation by Jib Jab

Biz/Tech News

Bank of America to Cut 4,500 More Jobs New York Times, NY
AT&T to cut 7,400 more jobs, trim value of assets by $11.4b Boston Globe
FTC Files First 'Spyware' Case in U.S. AP
Bill Imposes Prison Time Over 'Spyware' AP
Google Rolls Out Test of Short Message Service Reuters
Dell to Recall 990,000 Laptop Power Adapters Reuters
Malicious Trojan Pretends To Be Good TechWeb -
Microsoft Fixes Key SP2 Issue NewsFactor

Go-F*** -Yourself News

DeLay Not Contrite over Ethics Panel Rebuke NPR (audio)
Bush's Isolation From Reporters Could Be Hindrance washingtonpost.com

Ying Yang News

"I'm extremely disappointed that I have been sentenced to jail despite the fact that I did not write, and The Times did not publish, an article about (CIA officer) Valerie Plame." -- Judith Miller, New York Times Reporter

The person who did write that story is Robert Novak.

CNN 'Crossfire' host Novak hospitalized with broken hip
Houston Chronicle, Oct 4, 2004
CORAL GABLES, Fla. -- Political columnist Robert Novak broke his hip while in the Miami area for the first presidential debate and was recovering from surgery ...

What do Tom Delay and Dale from KING OF THE HILL have in common?

Both were bug exterminators and both believe in black helicopters.

"This is what his handlers have advised him to do after the first debate last week: George W. Bush's challenge now will be to stretch four and a half minutes of meaningless platitudes into an hour and a half. That's his challenge." -- David Letterman

Kerry/Edwards News