Happy Halloween, everyone. "The race is incredibly tight, and everyone says it's going to come to down to a few undecided voters -- or as I like to call them, the Supreme Court.'' -- Jason Alexander on the Late Late Show
Osama Bin Laden
Criticizes President Bush in New Video
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
“Did you hear some crazy guy tried to run his Cadillac into Katherine Harris? She's fine -- her makeup landed 600 feet away.'' -- Jason Alexander Katherine Harris Caught on C-SPAN !
Upper left: US Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ) and Katherine Harris (R-FL) oblivious to the fact that they are on camera. I watched this video with the Large Editor and my sassy southern belle girlfriend. The Large Editor said: "I wonder what his wife said after seeing this video?" The sassy southern belle said: "If they had a mattress, they'd be f***ing." I said: "Don't they know there are cameras in the House of Representatives?" Judge for yourself -- click below AHNC Trivia: Rick Renzi has twelve children
Click here for his flimsy and strange biography from Rick Renzi's own website
The fellow accused of trying to hit U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris with his car a few days ago should be court-ordered to attend driving school. Maybe he won’t miss next time. Harris was a nobody on the national scene and a citrus heiress-turned-GOP political hack on the Florida scene until four years ago, when she played a key role in the selection of George W. Bush as president even though he lost the popular vote by several hundred thousand ballots. She immediately became a darling of the Republican Party and was sent to Congress to join the ranks of other oligarchs and neo-cons who believe that rich people best know how to run the country and send other people’s sons and daughters off to war. What a great lady! Sort of a cross between Lucretia Borgia and Marie Antoinette. But on every historic figure’s life some shadow must fall, and Kate Harris is no exception. First there was the unfortunate incident this week with the fellow who supposedly menaced her with a car. Then an unfortunate piece of C-SPAN videotape surfaced on the Internet. It depicted a member of the House speaking about government business while using charts to make his point. Directly behind the speaker’s dais about three rows behind him, Harris sits next to another Republican member of Congress, stroking his arm repeatedly and leaning in close to speak with him in what best can be described as intimate conversational style. Rep. Harris and her companion laugh together several times, and the stroking continues on and off for several minutes. The unfortunate aspect of this display of party unity and affection is that the other member of Congress is married and has 12 children, according to his Internet-posted resume. All of this activity on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives during official business is, of course, permissible under the recently instituted Dick Cheney rules of order and parliamentary procedure. The vice president altered standards for Congressional conduct several months ago when he told a Democratic Senator -- on the floor of the Senate -- to go and have sex with himself. In keeping with his simple and direct style, however, Cheney used more forthright language than that. None of this is a surprise to those who have studied the far right’s seizure of control of the various branches of American government during the past 15 years. If a Democrat does it – whatever “it” may be – it’s liberal, immoral, treasonous or all of the above. If a Republican does it, it’s a minor human failing that should be overlooked by the American public because, after all, the ends always justify the means and only the far right can save the nation from catastrophe. That party line works just fine for many Americans, the ones who get all their information from Fox TV, Rush Limbaugh and evangelists who claim that Bush is God’s choice for president. But next Tuesday, a lot of other Americans will make a different pick. They’ll vote to save the nation from catastrophe by electing John Kerry.
"I
don't know if I'll die tomorrow." Ballot Box News
"I guess the Republicans expect trouble because they've already flown in 100 lawyers to Florida. Where are those hurricanes when you need 'em?'' -- Jason Alexander Disturbing News
"The U.S. military is trying to figure out exactly who stole more than 380 tons of high explosives from a weapons facility after the fall of Saddam Hussein. The CIA lost track of the explosives because they were hidden in containers marked 'explosives.' President Bush promised to hunt down those responsible, and of course by that, he means invade a totally unrelated country.'' –- Jon Stewart Republican Shenanigans
"All litigation has ceased in that case that has made me the object of media scorn from coast to coast ... This brutal ordeal is now officially over, and I will never speak of it again." -- Fox News Channel commentator Bill O'Reilly, on the out-of-court settlement he reached with the female co-worker who accused him of sexual harassment. Good News
"No matter how you try to blame it on the president, the actual responsibility for it really would be for the troops that were there. Did they search carefully enough? Didn't they search carefully enough?'' -- Rudolph Guiliani said on the Today Show about the missing explosives "If
George Bush is going to have his friends out there blaming the troops, then he
ought to have the evidence to go with his claim. George Bush, you need to show
America the order you gave for our troops to secure these dangerous
explosives.'' Biz/Tech News
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Did you know that our president spent the entire month before 9/11 on his ranch working on the stem cell issue, trying, as he said, "to bridge the worlds of ethics and science." Seriously, could there be anything George Bush knows less about than ethics and science?" –- Bill Maher Go-F*** -Yourself News
“This one goes out to all the conservative women out there. New Rule: If you're so sure the embryos needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term.” –- Bill Maher Kerry/Edwards News
Odd News
A polar bear at the San Diego Zoo gets into the Halloween spirit as he plays with a plastic pumpkin Thursday at the Zoo's Polar Bear Plunge. Kalluk, a 735-pound sub-adult male bear pounced on, tackled and hugged the large plastic decoration, which provided him hours of amusement. (Zoological Society of San Diego, Tammy Spratt) Peace and Boo!
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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