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Monday edition - October 27, 2008
"The Homeland Security Department said it will not meet a 2012 deadline set by Congress to scan the contents of every cargo container headed to US ports. 'Thanks for the heads up,' said terrorists." --Amy Poehler
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
US Attacks Syria
Families in this Iraqi
border village prepared to hold funerals Monday for eight people they say were
killed when the U.S. military launched a rare attack in Syrian territory. Clergy
washed the bodies as angry residents chanted, "May God's wrath fall on them."..."We
are taking matters into our own hands," a US military official in Washington
told The Associated Press, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the
political sensitivity of cross-border raids. US Attacks Pakistan Again
A suspected
U.S. missile strike killed up to 20 people in northwestern Pakistan on
Monday, officials said, the latest salvo in an intensifying assault on militant
hide-outs near the Afghan border.
Disturbing News
Blackwater AND Pirate Update
Blackwater Worldwide and
other private security firms — some with a reputation for being quick on the
trigger in Iraq —
are joining the battle against pirates plaguing one of the world's most
important shipping lanes off the coast of Somalia.
"In an interview this weekend, Sarah Palin said that when the media criticizes her children 'the mama grizzly in me comes out, makes me want to rear up on my hind legs.' Which is exactly what a mama grizzly did to Sarah Palin moments before she shot it from a helicopter." --Seth Meyers
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Republican-Shenanigans News
It's OK When Republicans Do It!
Just 0.7 miles long, Crow
Creek Road isn't a road to nowhere. It runs straight to the Double Musky Inn, a
Cajun bistro owned by a Bob Persons, a close friend of Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
"I am sick
and tired of Barack Obama saying that John McCain doesn't care about the middle
class. For Pete's sake, who knew there still was a middle class? Might as well
say 'Ooh, John McCain isn't paying enough attention to woolly mammoths and
parachute pants. They're gone. Get over it.'" - Stephen Colbert, Comedy
Central's "The Colbert Report"
Sarah Returns To Earth
Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin brought some casual appeal to North Carolina last night, wearing jeans and singing "Redneck Woman" as she implored voters to hire the ticket to fix the nation's capital.
"Sarah Palin is definitely is going to be the most popular Republican in this country when this thing is over. She'll basically spend the next three of four years, running around doing Lincoln Day dinners and raising money for people. She's got to gain a lot of substance before she's a viable candidate for president." - Ed Rollins, Republican strategist
Rock-The-Voter News
ACORN (the
Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) "has conducted a huge
voter registration effort, and not all the registrations are valid. Now I have a
lot of problems with ACORN. First, they should have picked a more ominous name,
like KAOS or SPECTRE, instead of squirrel food. Something really scary. They are
the biggest nut-based threat to America since Mr. Peanut tried to assassinate
the GOP elephant to impress the Morton's Salt girl." - Stephen Colbert,
Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report"
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Biz-Tech News
"As popular as Obama is here in the United States, he might be in even more popular overseas. Gallup polled citizens of 70 countries and found that foreigners support Obama over McCain by nearly four-to-one. It was an unusual poll, actually: 30 percent supported Obama, eight percent supported McCain, and the rest supported David Hasselhoff." --Jimmy Kimmel
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Twittering Terrorists?
Could Twitter become terrorists' newest killer app? A draft Army intelligence report, making its way through spy circles, thinks the miniature messaging software could be used as an effective tool for coordinating militant attacks.
Political scientists are monitoring Bush’s popularity ratings closely. They think they are close to discovering the exact percentage of people you can fool all of the time. - Laugh Lines
Go-F**k-Yourself News
I hope you had a good time today.
Please help keep All Hat No Cattle online Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
A functional
MRI brain scans show how searching the Internet dramatically engages brain
neural networks (in red). The image on the left displays brain activity while
reading a book; the image on the right displays activity while engaging in an
Internet search.
Peace.
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