Thursday edition - October 16, 2008
Obama seen as winner in tense US presidential
Republicans pull ads in key Senate and House races
Stock market strengthens ... in Iraq
McCain was sticking his tongue out a lot in last night's debate. Wonder why?
"More charges of voter registration fraud with this group ACORN. Have you heard about this? This is turning into a huge scandal. Apparently, this group has charged with on putting phony names on voter registration cards, including Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse was registered to vote in Florida. Is that so bad? I mean, Goofy has been president for the last eight years." --Jay Leno
US military: Afghan policeman kills US soldier The Associated Press
Al Qaeda in Iraq's No. 2 commander is dead, US reports Los Angeles Times
Second Taliban Attack Strikes Major Afghan City New York Times
Iraq rejects US claims of Iran trying to bribe Iraqis Xinhua, China
"Russia apparently has test-fired long-range ballistic missiles. At least that's what Sarah Palin says she saw from her house." --David Letterman
Joe the Plumber doesn't have a plumbing license in Ohio - Oh My!
(type in his last name, Wurzelbacher)
Robin Hood stole from greedy rich people and redistributed it to the peasants, so to speak, so if he's calling us peasants, I kind of resent that. - Joe the Plumber Wurzelbacher
Lawyer for Russian dissidents may have been poisoned Los Angeles Times
US infant mortality ranks lower San Jose Mercury News
More Broken Bush Promises
Despite pressure from elected officials and the military, the Bush administration has yet to equip some California National Guard planes for firefighting — a delay that could have grave implications during the worst of the wildfire season.
“JOHN McCAIN IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA GET.” - Don Davis, SatiricalPolitical
Energy-rich Wyoming friendly for GOP
Gov. Crist: False voter registrations not big problem in Fla. The Miami Herald, FL
Ex-VP Quayle tells Palin to 'just be yourself' The Associated Press
Stevens appears ready to take witness stand The Associated Press
It's OK When Republicans Do It
Violent anti-Barack Obama rhetoric - such as "Waterboard Barack Obama" - and images linking the Democratic presidential candidate to terrorist leader Osama bin Laden appeared this week on the official Web site of the Sacramento County Republican Party, the latest in a series of increasingly graphic attacks nationwide on the Illinois senator that seek to cast him as a terrorist sympathizer.
"Did you hear what happened at a rally yesterday? Sarah Palin mistook some of her supporters for hecklers. You know, confusion happens in all walks of life. For example, a few weeks ago, John McCain mistook her for a legitimate candidate. It happens." --David Letterman
Calm Obama trumps agitated McCain Radio Netherlands
Evidence points to ACORN's sloppiness, but not fraud The Miami Herald, FL
Last night was the very last presidential debate. So you know what that means? Prayer does work.- Jay Leno
biggest newspaper in Alaska, the Anchorage Daily News, says that Sarah Palin's
reaction to this Troopergate report, you know where she was found guilty, was
either astoundingly ignorant or downright Orwellian. To which Sarah Palin said,
'Do I have to pick one now, or can I get back to ya?'" --Jay Leno
Transactions in Decline, eBay Cuts Its Forecast
Well, the market went down over 700 points today. Oh, that reminds me. You know, we turn our clocks back soon. We’re turning it back to 1929, I believe. - Jay Leno
Got your costume picked out for Halloween? Because I got mine. I’m going to wear my pants with the pockets out and just go as the bank. - Jay Leno
Investment tips for
2008 for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers
so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2008:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zest Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
7. Grey Poupon and < SPAN class=EC_ececyshortcuts>Docker Pants are expected to become:
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
And finally ....
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTitty Bang Bang
Waterboarding: the Bush administration's paper trail guardian.co.uk
Well, doctors now say drinking alcohol shrinks your brain. Their proof — the last eight years of the White House. - Jay Leno
Cheney treated for heart problem Chicago Tribune
Vice President Dick Cheney was treated, today, for an irregular heartbeat. His doctors aren’t sure what caused it. They figured it was either stress or the sudden drop in oil prices.- Jay Leno
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. -Groucho Marx
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No praying on the Almighty! Judge tosses suit against God New York Daily News
Sawaya, left, and his girlfriend Courtney Simmons poses with LEGO brick
sculptures of themselves during the unveiling of the 82nd edition of the Neiman
Marcus Christmas Book in Irving, Texas, Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2008. Featured as the
His and Hers gift, life-size sculptures made of LEGO bricks can be purchased for
$60,000., for each.