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Monday edition - October 1 , 2007
Newt completes the Republican infinite idiot loop.
Bush logic: blame Iraq for 9/11. Invade. Then, blame Iran for the mess in Iraq. Invade. Perfect. -Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
No Wonder They Hate US
British MPs visiting the
Pentagon to discuss America's stance on Iran and Iraq were shocked to be told by
one of President Bush's senior women officials:
"I hate all Iranians."
Let's spice up flying. Replace the air marshals with Blackwater security guards. - Zing!
Disturbing News
"Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney had to cancel his campaign schedule last week. He was pretty sick. He was coughing up blue blood. " --Jay Leno
Republican Shenanigans
Republican Journalism
Vice
president Dick Cheney won't be the only headliner speaking to a secretive
conservative policy conclave this weekend.
Fred Thompson proposes universal movie coverage for all Americans - Red Tractor-USA
"There
was a debate between the Republican candidates for president in Baltimore. The
debate focused on minority issues, and it was at Morgan State University, which
is a black college...None of the top four Republican candidates were there.
Giuliani, McCain, Romney and Thompson -- not one of them showed up. Apparently,
they all had scheduling conflicts that prevented them from going to a place
where nobody will vote for them" --Jimmy Kimmel Rock-The-Voter News
Giuliani Update
An odd cell phone call from his wife, two rogue volunteers exploiting the memory of 9/11 to raise money, renewed questions about shifting stances on crucial domestic issues, upheaval within the campaign’s upper ranks and more focus on an unconventional family life.
It has been a rough time on the campaign trail for Rudolph W. Giuliani.
If we do anything to Iran, it will be wildly popular with the American people. - Joe Scarborough, 10-1-07 on MSNBC
There is a new book out this week about President Bush by one of his longtime fans, Bill Sammon. I think Bill is going to be on our show soon. It’s called The Evangelical President. And it’s pretty standard Bush idolatry. You know, he’s smarter than you think; [laughter] his enemies are just jealous; he’s ahead of his time. And, by the way, if you order it through Amazon, they recommend you might also like the “ten pound bag of bulls**t.”- Bill Maher
Biz-Tech News
I love that the President harshly criticizes Burma and Ahmadinejad. That's like Britney dissin' Lindsay and Paris. -Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Bush Autographs
There's one area where it's not "like father, like son" for the Bushes. President Bush has hand-written so few letters that an autograph dealer tells us he has upped his reward for one to $5,000. "I'll buy everything," says Momentsintime.com curator Gary Zimet. While the former President George H. W. Bush is a prolific letter writer, his son chooses the computer and autograph machine.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Bill O’Reilly is in a little bit of trouble with the black folks.You heard about that? He went to – he had dinner in Harlem with Al Sharpton. He must have lost a bet. I don’t know why this happened...I mean, he – he said he was “shocked and delighted to see there is no difference between a black-owned restaurant and a white-owned restaurant.” Which is true, because apparently they both serve “crackers.” - Bill Maher
O’Reilly, “I’m not a racist, I am close to many black people.” Red Tractor-USA
"I'm just a little bit shocked myself that a college in good standing would back up students who insist that people...have to teach that there were such things as talking snakes or lose their job." - Steve Bitterman, 60, fired from Southwestern Community College
Go-F***-Yourself News
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Claudia Michelle, left, looks at her twins Victor Gabriel and Antonio Bento, as her mother Rosinete Palmeira Serrao rests in a bed at the Santa Joana hospital in Recife, Brazil, Thursday, Sep. 27, 2007. Serrao, a 51-year-old surrogate mother for her daughter has given birth to her own twin grandchildren in northeastern Brazil, the delivery hospital said. Brazilian law stipulates that only close relatives can serve as surrogate mothers. De Brito is an only child and none of her cousins volunteered, so Serrao agreed to receive four embryos from her daughter. Photo/AGENCIA ESTADO, Rodrigo Lobo
Peace.
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