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Wednesday edition - January 9, 2008
Only 48 primaries to go!
"It was so warm today Al Gore got another Nobel prize." --David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
US Gave Contractors Immunity
Iraq's parliament should approve legislation to end immunity for foreign private security contractors, Human Rights Watch said today. The legislation would effectively rescind Order 17 of the now-defunct, US-led Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA), which grants foreign contractors and their non-Iraqi employees immunity from Iraqi criminal prosecution.
David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Your Presidential Campaign Is In Trouble.
10. When asked what you’d do about Iraq, you say, ‘Do I Rock?’ 9. You’re often described as ‘John Kerry without Charisma’. 8. Many of your supporters have been hospitalized because you ordered your campaign buttons from China. 7. You’ve been running negative ads about yourself. 6. Only endorsement you’ve received was from ‘Burrito Afficionado’ magazine. 5. When reporting caucus results, media refers to you as ‘Other’. 4. ‘Meet the Press’ appearance turns ugly when you put Tim Russert in a headlock. 3. Budget director blew most of your campaign funds betting on the Knicks. 2. You’ve primarily been campaigning in Canada. 1. You often ask, ‘What
would George W. Bush do?
Disturbing News Who Is The Defense Department Defending? Not Raped Women
The Defense Department's top watchdog has declined to investigate allegations that an American woman working under an Army contract in Iraq was raped by her co-workers.
"Congratulations to Mike Huckabee, to Barack Obama. ... Iowa has spoken. Cold, white people have had their say. Tomorrow night is New Hampshire, where colder, whiter people will have their say. And if all goes right, Obama and Huckabee will soon be the president of Scandinavia." --Jon Stewart
Republican Shenanigans
Senator Larry Craig Update
Seeking to have his guilty plea in a bathroom sex sting erased, the attorneys for Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho argue in a new court filing that the underlying act wasn't criminal because it didn't involve multiple victims.
Rock-The-Voter News
"Ladies and gentlemen, let me get on to the strike for a second. ... There's an elephant in the room here. Elephant is not actually in the room. The elephant is on strike, as well. ... Why am I doing this show tonight? Why did I decide to come back on the air and do my show? Well, let me tell you something. All my doubters and haters out there, let me tell you this. I have always been anti-labor, always been anti-union. This is completely politically consistent" --Stephen Colbert
MUST READ!
Fox News: We Report -- Even if We Know It's False - Paul Begala
Mitt Romney
Stewart and Colbert Return
Jon Stewart was back Monday night for the first time
since the Hollywood writers strike began, but he took care to draw a clear
distinction between the show he was returning with and the show he hosted until
two months ago...Following Stewart's show, The Colbert Report host Stephen
Colbert apologized to his audience for a technical snafu.
Biz-Tech News
The Recession is Coming
Goldman Sachs on Wednesday said it expects the US economy to drop into recession this year, prompting the Federal Reserve to slash...
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"A new
Japanese government report says that Japan could have nuclear weapons within
three to five years. And the report also says that the Japanese nuclear weapons
would be similar to American nuclear weapons, but smaller, and more fuel
efficient" --Jay Leno
Go-F***-Yourself News
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Odd News
Tourists visits ice church structures lit by
colorful lights on display during the 24th ice and snow festival in Harbin,
northeastern China's Heilongjiang province, Saturday, Jan. 5, 2008. The annual
festival marks the peak of tourism to the cold northern region of China.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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