Monday edition - January 7, 2008

I guess Bush's mom never taught him to wipe his nose with his crisp linen handkerchief tucked in his Brooks Brothers suit.

"They say al Qaeda is now trying to recruit women. See, this kinda makes you wonder what does al Qaeda promise women to become terrorists? Like men get the 72 virgins. What do women get -- 50 guys that help around the house?" - Jay Leno

www.buckfush.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 3,910 AP

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Iraqi Soldier Said to Kill 2 US Troops The Associated Press

• Iraq army day suicide attack kills 14 AFP

• Anti-al Qaeda leader among 15 killed in Baghdad blasts CNN International

• Afghan violence leaves 10 dead AP

• Iraqi soldiers throw selves on suicide bomber, AP reports SI.com 

• Attacks by Women Suicide Bombers in Iraq The Associated Press

• Militants attack Pakistani peace workers; 8 dead Reuters

• Israel Says It Will Toughen Response to Longer-Range Fire New York Times 

• During Mideast tour, Bush to insist Iran remains a threat AFP

• US moves to improve ties with Libya AP

• Turkish president to fly out to US NTV MSNBC, Turkey

Another Secret Prison?

As the Bush administration struggles for a way to close the military prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, a similar effort to scale down a larger and more secretive American detention center in Afghanistan has been troubled by political, legal and security problems, officials say.

WONKETTE

Disturbing News

• Ice locks in flood waters at Nev. town Boston Globe

• Cops: Texas man calls 911, says he's eating girlfriend USA Today

Rolling Out The Red Carpet for King George

Israeli officials in Jerusalem are to deploy more than 10,000 police officers in a vast security operation ahead of the arrival this week of George Bush, the first US president to visit in a decade. Graffiti are being cleaned off walls, road markings are being repainted and hundreds of American flags are being put up across the city. The floodlights which illuminate the stone ramparts of the Old City will stay on for an extra two hours every night, until 2am, to give the president the chance to catch the view....Bush, who arrives on Wednesday for his first visit as president, will stay at the King David hotel. Eight truckloads of equipment have already arrived in advance of his two-night stay. All the hotel's rooms will be taken by his entourage - tourists have had their bookings cancelled.

"The Writers Guild strike does continue. Fortunately, we've been able to negotiate an agreement but the strike continues. ... Here's what the writers want and you tell me if you don't think this is fair. Here's all they want: The Writers Guild wants a share of Internet revenues and four more years of President Bush." --David Letterman

Republican Shenanigans

• GOP to voters: Be afraid, be very afraid Salon 

• Mayor Bloomberg seriously considering White House run, says friend New York Daily News

• Republican Rivals Go After One Another in Forum New York Times

• Highlights of Bush's trip to the Mideast AP

• Court will hear lethal injection case AP

Chef Admits Bush Is Crackers

Bush, who called Scheib “cookie,” “wanted his food to hit the table at the same time his posterior hit the chair,” and would never eat anything green or “wet.” What did he eat? Almost exclusively BLTs, grilled-cheese sandwiches made with Kraft singles and white bread, peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches, and hamburgers. Whichever item Scheib had at the ready, the president would reject. (Scheib learned to anticipate this, keeping all four foods prepared at all times.) In his final weeks on the job, Scheib admitted he was fired, rather than saying he resigned. For this perceived act of disloyalty, he was immediately dismissed.

Rock-The-Voter News

• Bereaved family campaigns for Edwards Reuters

• Clinton upbeat in NH, says she's a 'doer' USA Today

• Obama Costs Irish Bookie $75000 FOX News

“No, I always love when they campaign because you always see the candidates holding up ears of corn” because “that’s what they grow in Iowa. … See, how come they don’t do that when they come to L.A.? Like, you don’t see the candidates on Hollywood Boulevard, arm around a hooker, big vial of crack.” - Jay Leno

Bush Officials Blow Another CIA Operation

Senior U.S. officials, concerned over intelligence reports that al Qaeda and the Taliban are more intent on destabilizing Pakistan, are considering expanding the authority of the CIA and the military to conduct far more aggressive covert operations there, the New York Times said on Sunday.

Citing senior Bush administration officials who spoke off the record, the Times said that while no decisions had been made, the options under discussion included the CIA working with the military's Special Operations forces.

"Because of the strike ... many of the awards shows may be cancelled this season. So, something good has come from all of this." --David Letterman
 

Biz-Tech News

• Oil Prices Fall on US Economic Concerns The Associated Press 

• Program allows Mexican trucks in U.S. AP

• Katrina victims swamp corps for trillions in claims USA Today 

• Microsoft Expected To Post 77% Earnings Gain In Second Quarter TechWeb

• Al-Qaida videos now on cell phones AP

• "Stock" beats "sex" in Google China keyword searches Reuters 

US Dollar Axed in India

In a sign of how the once-mighty U.S. dollar has fallen, India's tourism minister said Thursday that U.S. dollars will no longer be accepted at heritage tourist sites, including the Taj Mahal.

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Bush vows to look into issue of Kuwaiti prisoners in Guantanamo Indian Muslims, CA

George McGovern on Impeachment

"Bush and Cheney are clearly guilty of numerous impeachable offenses," McGovern writes. "They have repeatedly violated the Constitution. They have transgressed national and international law. They have lied to the American people time after time.

"Their conduct and their barbaric policies have reduced our beloved country to a historic low in the eyes of people around the world."
 

Go-F***-Yourself News

• This is what Dick Cheney was doing on Friday

Why are candidates not addressing Britney issues? - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com